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    Zalgan, the White Reaper "Updated"

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    Kassadin

    Posts : 31
    Join date : 2013-02-26
    Age : 25
    Location : The Void

    Zalgan, the White Reaper "Updated"

    Post by Kassadin on Fri May 17, 2013 5:02 pm

    Roles: Melee AD Bruiser

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    Appearance: White robes with black outlines and markings, Hood always up so nobody can see his face. Giant grey scythe. floats in the air.

    -----------------------------

    Lore: Most think Zalgan is evil, just because of his appearance and weapon of choice. They are all wrong, he doesn't care a thing about the world around him, Weither it was destroyed or restored to its proper state, Zalgan only cared about himself.

    His unique magic style was a bit strange, instead of feeding off the power of his enemies, He instead takes power from his fallen allies. This strange power didn't get unnoticed however, When a group of Noxian soldiers caught up with him somewhere in the Shurima Desert, They demanded he come with them and put his powers to a greater use.

    Zalgan simply laughed at them and told them, "My powers are to great, If you wish to see them first hand, I shall" Zalgan started to charge up a massive blast, The power seemed so emense that the soldiers tried to flee before he even finished the incantation.

    Several years later Zalgan headed for the institute of war to inlist in the league, He never specified his reasons, or who he even is. Just a mysterious robed figure who doesn't reveal anything of his past.

    -----------------------------

    Abilities.

    Passive: Shadow Armor: Enemies who attack Zalgan have their armor reduced by 8 for 4 seconds, stacks up to 3 times. When Zalgan's abilites hit enemies with 3 stacks, they gain a bonus effect. Zalgan also permanently gains 2 bonus armor every time an allied champion dies within 1100 range of him.

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    Q: Reaping Wrath: Zalgan swings his scythe around dealing 60 / 90 / 120 / 150 / 180 (50% AD) physical damage to enemies infront of him.

    Shadow Armor Bonus: Refreshes the duration of Shadow armor on the target.

    Mana: 50 / 60 / 70 / 80 / 90
    Cooldown: 4 seconds.
    AoE radius: 350

    ---------

    W: Dark Illusion: Zalgan creates an immobile clone of himself at a target location for 5 seconds that will copy his next ability cast, deals 20% increased damage if both Zalgan's and the clones version of the ability hit the same target.

    Mana: 80
    Cooldown: 14 / 12 / 10 / 8 / 7 seconds
    Range: 300

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    E: Bladed Barage: Zalgan throws his scythe at an enemy dealing 60 / 80 / 100 / 120 / 140 (35% AD) physical damage and immobilizing the target for 1.5 seconds and 50% increased movement speed for 2 seconds. Zalgan gains 10 / 15 / 20 / 25 / 30 bonus AD for 3 seconds after the effect wears off.

    Shadow Armor Bonus: Deals truedamage instead.

    Mana: 70 / 80 / 90 / 100 / 110
    Cooldown: 16 / 14 / 12 / 10 / 8 seconds

    ---------

    R: Scythe Torrent:
    1st cast: Zalgan summons 3 spectral scythes for 10 seconds that he can throw around. Also grants Zalgan 30% increased attack speed, decreasing it by 10% for each blade he throws.
    kills and assists while Scythe Torrent is active will summon an extra blade and add 2 seconds to the duration.

    2nd / 3rd / 4th cast: Zalgan throws one of the blades dealing 100 / 200 / 300 (50% AD) to enemies hit. Enemies hit by more then 1 blade take 20% less damage.

    Mana: 150 / 160 / 170
    Cooldown: 120 / 110 / 100 seconds.
    (Direct Targeting)

    ---Changes

    - Better defined his W
    - Lowered mana costs at higher ranks
    - Added a speed boost to his E so he can actually chase / escape
    - Changed the blades refreshing on his ultimate a bit

    (Final note, I looked at his damage numbers, and looks like he's going to be an early game stomp champion with little scaling to late game)


    Last edited by Kassadin on Wed Jul 31, 2013 11:13 pm; edited 1 time in total
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    Meherok

    Posts : 54
    Join date : 2013-05-28
    Age : 23
    Location : United States

    Re: Zalgan, the White Reaper "Updated"

    Post by Meherok on Sat Jun 01, 2013 12:03 am

    Always liked the scythe wielder in robes look. I got a character that has a similar kind of appearance going on. Anyway:

    Tired, so this is gonna be pretty haphazardly put together.

    Passive
    Seems fine, should specify the exact distance of "near him." My suggestion would simply be sight range, (approximately 1100.)

    Q
    Mana scaling is gonna be way too high in later ranks. Would be better to go up by no more than 10 mana per rank max, but I wouldn't do more than 5 for a skill that's meant to be spammed like that.

    Other difficulty is that at later levels, if this champ is meant to be building high AD, (and it strikes me as a melee AD Carry/AD Caster or maybe Assassin, which implies it would,) then the damage output late game might be too low if it's not being overlapped with your W. A lot of ADC's get around 400 AD and sometimes more, by late game; This would mean that using this skill actually reduces his output, even if it does allow an AoE. But the AoE won't do you much good if you're not receiving a higher benefit from it being an AoE than if you just continued auto attacking the main target. In essence, if this is a champ you made with intent of him building high AD, you'll probably want to increase the damage on its later ranks, or its AD scaling. I might be wrong, but that's what I get from eyeballing it. You also need to specify if the AD scaling is bonus or total AD. I would hope/suggest total, in this case, or it definitely won't have any significant output late game.

    However, the above could be completely circumvented if you made it active alongside auto attacks and doesn't interrupt them, like Evelynn's Q. In either case, the scaling still needs to be listed as Bonus AD or Total AD, however it would be more appropriate for it to be Bonus AD for this option, because it's additional DPS and not a replacement for the auto attack.

    W
    Again, mana scales way too hard, especially for a simple utility skill.

    Skill really badly needs a specified range that the clone can be placed at, because it's going to drastically alter the playstyle and usefulness of the skill.

    Should specify how long the clone lasts, (I'd suggest around 4-5 seconds.)

    How exactly does it target with skills? Is it similar to Zed's shadows, where they target in the intended direction of your primary skill, or is it placed facing a specific way and just fires in the direction placed? (I'd hope they'd act more along the line of Zed's.)

    E
    Needs to be specified if this skill is a skillshot or direct-targeting skill. The wording suggests direct-targeting, but it's not entirely clear. If it is a skillshot, it needs to specify if it will hit the first champion, or first minion in its path.

    Seems unecessary for the immobilize to be a duration that isn't a multiple of .5, and honestly, even a 1 second isn't going to be very useful on a champion without a gap closer, like this champ. This skill is going to be problematic to balance without him having some kind of gap closer, because if you make the immobilize stronger, but yet it still remain at a low cooldown, it's going to get too powerful. But if you keep the immobilize around as weak as it is, then it's not going to be strong enough to be of use where it's needed.

    R
    Should probably give this skill a maximum duration for the blades to be available. Otherwise, there's really no point in having them down at any point and might as well just be conjured as soon as his ult is off cooldown, if they just stay infinitely until thrown. Unless that's what you were going for.

    You list the damage of the blades on the 1st cast, but then list the damage again for the 2nd/3rd/4th cast, with the casts having different values for damage. The 1st cast only specifies that it summons the blades, and that throwing them will deal the damage, not that it in itself throws any; So why exactly are these damage values shown on the first cast?

    You should also specify if these blades are skillshots or direct-targeting. I would imagine they would function like Irelia's ult, but I could be very wrong, so could use some clarification.

    Is there any cooldown/delay between each throw of a blade, or can they all be thrown out as fast as you can click? If there is a delay, this would be necessary to list.

    I'd probably lower the cooldown on the ult a little bit at its 3rd rank. It's not a particularly game-changing ult as far as utility goes and only has strength in its damage, so it's not really necessary to have the cooldown being quite that long at late game.
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    Meherok

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    Re: Zalgan, the White Reaper "Updated"

    Post by Meherok on Sat Jun 01, 2013 12:29 am

    Couple things I thought up after hitting enter on that.

    Your E also needs a range specified on it, as that's just another one of those things needs specifying.

    The kit, as a whole, is going to have a lot of problems in early-mid game, and in chasing/escaping situations. As a kit, it entirely lacks any form of mobility, which is 100% necessary to have at least some on a melee character, or you'll never actually be able to get around when you need to. Secondly, the only way to enter melee range is also the only way you have to stay in melee range, and that's your E. It's not really a strong enough engage, even if it had really long range, because it gives you practically no time to close the gap while they're CC'd, and then afterwards, leaves you with no way to keep them in melee range once you're there. The kit direly needs 1: A stronger gap closer, because this is essential on all melee characters, or you'll never actually get close to be in the fight unless your team manages to lock them down for you, (which is a bad idea, because champions need to have at least some self-reliance in these areas for things like laning phase,) and 2: A way to maintain your position in melee, so that people can't just run away from you're in melee. Otherwise, you'll get there and people will just be like "Nope!" and you'll have just wasted your mana and possibly put yourself in a risky position for absolutely no reason.

    Your E serves both these functions, but in such a minor way that it's just not going to be adequate if it were actually being used in game. You'd actually be worse off than Olaf is in these situations, because at least he can spam his slow if he's managed to land it the first time and get in to melee.

    Siyanor

    Posts : 49
    Join date : 2013-07-27
    Age : 26

    Re: Zalgan, the White Reaper "Updated"

    Post by Siyanor on Sat Jul 27, 2013 2:16 am

    I'm seconding Meherok's comments about needing to specify range/targeting mechanisms. From what I can gather, his W will almost always deal full damage or so little damage that you're better off not even casting it because of the high mana cost.

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    Re: Zalgan, the White Reaper "Updated"

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