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    (work in progress) Kalaril, The Holy Vanguard


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    Post by Kassadin on Wed Apr 10, 2013 5:51 pm

    Kalaril, the Holy Vanguard

    Roles: Hybrid, Bruiser, Anti AD, with great teamfight utility

    Lore: Still working on it, If anyone here is good at lore writing, I would love some assistance on this.

    Her general theme is a soldier of demacia who was chosen by a higher power to purge the world of all evil. Not much else I can say.



    Passive: Lights Power: Kalaril's basic attacks on champions decrease the targets attack speed by 8% and increasing her attack speed by 10%. stacks up to 3 times.


    Q: Vanguard Strike: Kalaril strikes a single target with a heavy swipe of her sword. dealing 45 / 60 / 80 / 100 / 120 (60% AD) + an extra 15 / 25 / 35 / 45 / 55 (45% AP) magic damage per stack of Lights Power on the target. Immoblizes the target for 1 second if they have 3 stacks of lights power, and consumes all stacks upon succesful hit.

    Cooldown: 12 / 10 / 8.5 / 7 / 6 seconds


    W: Holy Might: Kalaril grants 10 / 25 / 40 / 55 / 70 AD or AP to an allied champion, based off whichever is higher and healing them for 45 / 75 / 105 / 125 / 145 (40% AP).

    Cooldown: 18 / 16 / 14 / 12 / 10 seconds


    E: Prismatic Sphere: Kalaril summons a sphere of light at a target location, that slowly moves towards the nearest enemy champion. The sphere deals 60 / 85 / 110 / 135 / 160 damage to the target when it arrives and slowing their movement speed by 15% for each stack of lights power on them.

    Damage type is based off of what the target's stats are. (Higher AD = magic damage, higher AP = Physical damage)

    Cooldown: 16 / 14 / 12 / 10 / 8 seconds.

    R: Serenity: Kalaril summons a field of holy energies for 6 seconds, Allies who enter the field gain 30 / 40 / 50 armor and magic resist, and heal 2% / 4% / 6% of their maximum health every second. Enemies in the field take 10% / 15% / 20% increased damage from all of Kalaril's abilities and gain 1 stack of lights power per second.

    Cooldown: 90 / 100 / 110 seconds.

    This is basically a rough draft, and missing tons of key details and stuff, But I just thought i'd post this to see if anyone is willing to give suggestions or some help on this. Since I am a rather bad lore writer, And most of the time everything is either OP or unbalanced.

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    Post by Bliztron on Sun Apr 14, 2013 7:04 pm

    On the passive, how long does it last? Also, I think you should nerf it. 30% attack speed and 24% enemy decrease on attack speed is a little much.

    The kit looks interestiing and has some fun conecpts in it. I especially like the E, even tho the CD decrease may be a little much.

    Also, this thread can go over in the intermediate section. If you wish, I can move it over.

    If you need help, contact me!

    I'm currently working on a novel called Rift of Dreams

    I also am designing new champions on this new forum! If you like my work, check the others I have!

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    (work in progress) Kalaril, The Holy  Vanguard Empty Re: (work in progress) Kalaril, The Holy Vanguard

    Post by Meherok on Sat Jun 01, 2013 1:20 am

    Pretty much what Bliztron said. You should also specify rather or not she can apply it to multiple targets, or only one at a time, and if it resets upon target switch, like Warwick's passive.

    Need to specify rather the AD ratio on it is Total AD or Bonus AD. (Pretty much has to be Bonus AD, or it will be way too strong early.)

    For a skill like that, I'd probably put its first rank of mana around 50-60 and increase it by increments of 10.

    I think it's a bad idea to give a champion the same amount of AD as you would give a caster AP. Casters can only benefit from it on their skills, where as most AD users will benefit on their skills, and receive a huge bonus to their AD. There's a good reason why most AD items have significantly less AD than AP items give AP. There's also a good reason why most champions only have their abilities scale off of Bonus AD. AD gives way more potential power per point than AP does, and giving an ADC 70 AD is a lot bigger of a boost for them than giving a Mage 70 AP. In summary, make it give less AD than AP; This would probably mean that in comparison to the current buff it gives, there would be more AP early ranks, and less AD late ranks. So probably make the AD increase by increments of 5ish, and AP increase by increments of 10ish.

    Also direly needs to specify how long the buff lasts for. I wouldn't make it anywhere above 6 seconds, but would probably make it less still. Likewise, because this is a steriod, I'm assuming the cooldown starts as soon as the skill has been cast. If this is the case, even if the effect only lasted 3 seconds, you'll want to increase the cooldown at later ranks, or it'll be a bit too spammable for a steroid. Probably only make it go down by 1 second per rank, instead of 2.

    For a skill like this, I would give it a higher mana cost, probably around 80 to start, because it gives such a strong boost on top of the heal. I wouldn't make it any less than 70.

    Needs a listed casting distance and a duration for the slow, as well as the life duration of the sphere, so people know the timeframe they have to outrun it.

    I'd put the cast range somewhere around 600-700 units, since it will aggro on its own to champions. Speaking of aggroing, you're gonna need an aggro range, which should probably be around 500. That way the total distance that the skill can harass from doesn't get too ridiculous, but will still be able to function well as such, since it's the only thing in her kit that truly can.

    I'd suggesting putting the duration for the slow around 3 seconds, since it's her only legitimate CC.

    Depending on how slowly moving we're talking, it could probably be made akin to the life duration of Maokai's saplings, (2.5 seconds before disappearing.) If we mean really, really slow -Like melee minion slow- you might wanna up that to around 3-4 seconds. I'd suggest making it act more along the lines of Maokai's saplings though, because otherwise if it's too slow, people could just outrun it, no matter how long it lasts, and it won't make for very much threat.

    One thing I'm thinking is that the idea behind it only slowing if they have stacks of her passive on them, then it's going to be very limited as her only source of CC. You have to be hitting them in melee first before you can be able to slow, and that's going to make it useless for chasing if the enemy manages to get even slightly out of your range. (Unless the duration of her passive is insanely long, which would be a bad thing in its own right.) I would suggest adding a base slow of 15% for this skill, in addition to the slows it receives from stacks of her passive. This will make it much more viable in chase and escape situations, especially since she lacks mobility in its entirety.

    You probably know this and just haven't implemented yet, but this skill should probably have a AP(or AD, I guess,) ratio on it.

    For this ones mana, I'd probably set it somewhere lower, like 60, and only scale it by increments of 5. It's more utility than damage, and doesn't seem necessary to make it go up very high.

    Going to need the total radius before I can really say for sure, but that heal could be a bit too powerful. It's literally giving everyone a better version of Volibear's passive at last rank. Granted, it can be countered by Ignite, but that's not always going to be up, and not very likely a number of ignites are going to be up to cover the majority of your team. 6% a second, in my personal opinion, is going a bit overboard. I wouldn't bring it above 4% a second, as that will already give everyone a 24% heal, which is pretty heft on anyone who actually has some health built. Add in the fact they're gaining survivability from the Armor/MR they receive, and you're effectively going to nullify the majority of the damage your team will take for the next couple seconds.

    Cooldowns go down with rank, not up. :P Even if it's made to compensate for the power, it's not gonna make it any less powerful when it is up. There's also a good reason why they go down and never up, and that's because you don't want to be nerfing the players ability to do their job when they need to. You're practically making them choose "rank this up, and get better stats, but you won't be able to use it as often." Granted, the cooldown doesn't go up by much, but it's still the choice you're giving them, and in the end it punishes for either pick, because they can't just choose to use the lesser or greater version when necessary. They either -have- to have a long cooldown, or -have- to have nerfed effects, and they're just both bad options. While you might be rewarding the player for leveling up, you're taking a good chunk of that reward away at the same time. The only reason mana goes up for some skills is to prevent them from becoming too cost effective for their output. So yeah.. Just reverse the cooldown ranks.

    Mana.. Mana, mana mana. I'd probably just stick this around the 120-150 range and honestly leave it static at all ranks. There's rarely any good reasons to actually increase mana on ults, and I can't think of any for this one.

    Again, for a melee champ, you should really have some form of mobility/gap closer, to help you actually get in where you need to be, or you're just gonna get out-maneuvered all the time, even with the slow on your E. But I'm too tired to further elaborate on this right now, so perhaps, if you'd like, it can be discussed at a later date.

    For now, I am off! Good day.

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